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1) Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.


2) Having sex in a twin-bed is out of the question!


3) You keep more food than beer in your fridge.


4) 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.


5) You hear your favorite song in the elevator.


6) You watch the weather channel.


7) Your friends "marry" or "divorce" instead of "hook up" or "break up".


8) You go from 130 days of vacation to 14.


9) Jeans and sweater is no longer qualified as "dressed up"


10) You're the one calling to police, because those "%#"& kids next door won't turn down the stereo.


11) Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.


12) You don't know what time McDonald's closes anymore.


13) Your car insurance go down and your car payments go up.


14) You feet your dog science diets instead of McDonald's leftovers.


15) Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.


16) You take naps.


17) Dinner & movie is the whole date, instead of the beginning of one.


18) Eating a basket of chicken wing at 3:00 a.m would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.


19) You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofin and antacid, instead of condoms and pregnancy tests.


20) A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit".


21) You actually eat breakfast food, at breakfast time.


22) "I just can't drink the way i used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again!"


23) 90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work.


24) You drink at home to save money before you go to a bar.


25) When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate then instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"


BONUS 26) You read the entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know they will enjoy it too. And now you know why I'm forwarding this to you :-)

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